| A NaNoWriLess Food Adventure Novel. |
[Nov. 21st, 2007|12:59 am] |
I knew it was there, in the back of my mind. But today, I opened the cupboard, purposeful. I had finally come for it.
Stick blender, immersion blender, whatever name you give it. A small one, not the jackhammer from Iron Chef.
Roasted butternut squash soup. Turned out pretty decent! |
|
|
| A NaNoWriLess Christmas Nightmares Novel. |
[Nov. 17th, 2007|08:59 pm] |
We Wish You A Merry Christmas
It started innocently. Carolers outside.
"We wish you a merry Christmas!"
They sung pleasantly, but soon they got demanding.
"Now bring us some figgy pudding."
I said no. But they were in for the long haul.
"We won't go until we get some."
Three weeks they've been on my doorstep. |
|
|
| A NaNoWriLess Internet Mystery Novel. |
[Nov. 17th, 2007|01:11 pm] |
Lost in Translation, from English to...English?
"When she was just a widow she had won a golden medal for best children."
I'm watching the Thanksgiving episode of Good Eats. Alton's history of Thanksgiving mentions Sarah Josepha Hale. I came across this sentence in her Wikipedia article. It's deliciously indecipherable--and so I offer it to you. |
|
|
| A NaNoWriLess Classic Detective Novel. |
[Nov. 15th, 2007|12:39 pm] |
"I daresay it was the cook!"
"Astounding, Holmes! However did you know?"
"He insinuated at the time of the murder, he was in the pantry inhaling a measure of the distilled coca powder. Unbeknownst to him, I had personally imbibed the last of it not more than fifteen minutes' prior." |
|
|
| A NaNoWriLess Psychedelic Poetry Book. |
[Nov. 13th, 2007|09:33 pm] |
Try and guess the drug!
Leaves of Charmin
Whiff of poo-fumes
our filthy chariot
Angels on the left
and demons on the right
like methane we arise to the
Porcelain throne
we dance 'round the rim
beseeching a vision
from the watery tempest
A sphincter
an eye at the end
it sees us
it is our own eye. |
|
|
| A NaNoWriLess Addiction Survival Novel. |
[Nov. 13th, 2007|10:30 am] |
Confessions of a Shithead
I first tried Jenkem at fifteen. It was simple: FIRST YOU SHIT IN A JAR.
I wound up homeless. I'd panhandle, but only enough for a cheeseburger, Ex-Lax, and a mason jar.
My family staged an intervention. In rehab, it was hard learning to flush again. But I did learn. |
|
|
| A NaNoWriLess Swashbuckling Novel. |
[Nov. 6th, 2007|03:12 pm] |
Pirates of the Carrageenan
"They fought like nothing in Christiandom," noted Cap'n Blondbeard. "But we showed 'em a fire to dim Hell itself, and took their little island as plunder."
"Ye're King of a fine land," crowed First Mate Williams.
"Not King," grinned Blondbeard. "What'd tha' one feller call 'imself?"
"Shōgun?"
"Aye. Shōgun Blondbeard."
EDIT. In NonNanNoWriLess-related news: it's snowing. Freakin' balls, it's snowing. |
|
|
| A NaNoWriLess Baking Book. |
[Nov. 6th, 2007|11:26 am] |
Bacon Apple Pie
Get bacon, apples, and a pie crust. Probably some sugar and flour too. Cook your bacon, and slice your apples. Put it in the pie crust. Somehow make the top. Then bake the whole thing. Or check out ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) xlagartixax's bacon apple pie recipe and pictures--she invented it, after all.
NOTE: Wally's thoughts on bacon apple pie are forthcoming. |
|
|
| A NaNoWriLess Nature Documentary Series. |
[Nov. 6th, 2007|12:15 am] |
A NaNoWriLess Nature Documentary Novel, Book I.
My Life Amongst the Cheez: Habitat.
Having worked in a mini-mart, I've been privileged to observe nacho cheese in its natural habitat. The first curiosity about this strange and beautiful cheese is that it doesn't return to refrigeration at day's end like other cheeses; instead it perpetually resides in a plastic bag in a warming machine.
A NaNoWriLess Nature Documentary Novel, Book II.
My Life Amongst the Cheez: Behaviour.
When our noble cheese is called into service by pressing the machine's single red button, a rotating wheel massages the plastic urethra that descends from the cheese bag, and orange-yellow fluid is spurted onto the waiting food. Like Easy-Cheese, the first squirt is usually hardened remnants, and should be avoided.
A NaNoWriLess Nature Documentary Novel, Book III.
My Life Amongst the Cheez: Society.
Plastic bags of cheese reside in unrefrigerated storage for an indeterminate length of time before they see action in the warming machine. When placed in the machine, though, the cheese waits about a week, then begins changing from orange-yellow to orange-yellow-brown. It continues to be served until customers start noticing. |
|
|
| A NaNoWriLess Criminal Justice System Novel. |
[Nov. 5th, 2007|06:49 am] |
In the criminal justice system the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime, and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders. ( These are their stories. ) |
|
|
| A NaNoWriLess Sampler Platter. |
[Nov. 3rd, 2007|12:06 am] |
2 tonight, but they're a little longer. I figure if that dude can write a boy and his dragon tale at 15, then I'm twice the age so I should make twice the money. With that on the table, who could pass up doing one? Not me.
We also have a little more from the noble House of Manthick, in "Beyond the Welshman's Ambition."
( Proceed. ) |
|
|
| A NaNoWriLess Crime Scene Investigation Novel. |
[Nov. 2nd, 2007|06:18 am] |
So maybe I'll actually look at this as a challenge--complete 50,000 words' worth of these nanonovels throughout November. For sanity's sake I'm going to say that they're all at least 50 words, but not 50 words exactly. Some of 'em might go a little over. Some of 'em might go a lot over, like this one. And they'll start going under cuts, so as not to flood your friends-page.
( Down The Hatch ) |
|
|
| A NaNoWriLess Incredible Journey. |
[Nov. 1st, 2007|08:41 pm] |
Buddy, Please Come Home
"I miss my rooster, Buddy," sobbed Jimmy.
"Buddy wouldn't be happy here in New York," replied Jimmy's mom.
She was wrong. After three harsh months on the road, Buddy, with Cristobel the Cow's help, was elected Mayor of New York. Then, he invited Jimmy to stay in the Mayor's mansion. |
|
|
| A NaNoWriLess Bodice-Ripper. |
[Nov. 1st, 2007|07:33 pm] |
A Nobleman To Love Me
"Oh, Archduke Manthick," shuddered Julie as her lover's ridged scepter transported her to the heights of ecstasy, "marry me!"
"No," sighed the well-muscled nobleman. "You're my chambermaid. Our laws forbid it."
"Can't you change them?" Julie pouted, her bosom heaving.
"I shall. The King owes me a boon."
"Oh, Archduke!" |
|
|
| A NaNoWriLess Detective Novel. |
[Nov. 1st, 2007|07:03 am] |
"The Mystery of the Purloined Bourbon"
Someone drank my bourbon. Someone's going to pay.
Tom points out this one dame who's been acting suspicious. I ease myself up, and turn and shove Tom. There's a napkin stuck to his arm from when he reached over to steal my drink.
"You're buying?" I growl.
"Yup," he says. |
|
|
| The NaNoWriLess Challenge. |
[Nov. 1st, 2007|12:28 am] |
So it's now officially November, and that means it's time for good old NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. Your mission is to churn out, by any means necessary, a 50,000 word novel by the end of the month.
However, given that I'm currently kinda busy writing something else at the moment, I've decided to pare things down a little: I'm going to drop a zero or two or three from the total size of the thing. So instead of starting on a 50,000 word novel, a 5,000 word short story, or even a 500 word essay, I give you the 50 word NaNonovel. It's the kind of project I have just the right ambition for, and I'm sure you all do too.
In fact, I'm done already! I'm going to post mine right here, and encourage you all to take the same challenge: produce a 50 word nanonovel by the end of the month and post it here too, or in your own journal. In fact, post two or three. It's like dim sum, you can have many small bites before you're full.
So, here we go:
"In His Shadow" (titles don't count towards your total)
"I finally beat your record, Dad. If only you were alive to see it."
The last plate hit the table, empty but for the bones. Roger looked up at the picture above him, which bore the inscription "Most Wings Eaten".
He belched sonorously, to indicate the gravity of the occasion. |
|
|
